Love is often spoken about as a gentle, comforting force—a feeling that fills us with warmth and peace. But according to Lao Tzu, the ancient philosopher behind the Tao Te Ching, love is not only comforting; it is transformative. He famously wrote: “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” These words reveal a profound truth: love shapes us in two complementary ways, giving us both the stability to stand tall and the bravery to face vulnerability.
Love as Strength
Think about the moments in your life when you felt truly supported by someone—a partner, friend, family member, or even a mentor. There’s a sense of reassurance that comes from being seen and accepted. This is what Lao Tzu calls “strength.” When you are deeply loved, you develop resilience. Life’s challenges don’t feel like insurmountable mountains, because you know you’re not climbing them alone. Love, in this sense, is an anchor: it roots you, restores your energy, and gives you confidence to navigate uncertainty.
Being loved allows you to show up as your best self. You can take risks, pursue dreams, or simply breathe easier knowing that someone believes in you. Strength in love is not just physical or emotional—it is the kind of inner power that comes from being valued and understood.
Love as Courage
But what about the flip side? Loving someone deeply, as Lao Tzu points out, requires courage. It’s easy to think of love as a passive, warm feeling, but real love demands vulnerability. To truly care for someone, you must open yourself to the possibility of rejection, disappointment, and heartbreak. Loving deeply is an act of bravery. Every time you extend your heart to another, you are facing your fears head-on.
Courageous love is active. It shows up in patience, empathy, forgiveness, and commitment—even when it’s difficult. It means choosing generosity and trust when fear tempts you to withdraw. In loving deeply, we discover parts of ourselves that remain dormant in safety. Love, therefore, becomes a teacher, showing us the edges of our strength and the expansiveness of our spirit.
The Taoist Balance
The Tao Te Ching teaches balance in all aspects of life. Strength and courage are not opposing forces—they are complementary. When we receive love, we gain strength; when we give love, we practice courage. The alchemy of love lies in this dynamic: the more we engage in this exchange, the more we grow emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically.
Taoism encourages us to see love not as a possession or a fleeting feeling, but as a flow—something to give, receive, and allow to move through us naturally. It’s less about control and more about harmony. By embracing both sides of love, we become more grounded and more daring, more resilient and more open-hearted.
Conclusion
Love is not a weakness; it is a force that shapes who we are. Being loved empowers us, while loving empowers others—and, in turn, ourselves. Lao Tzu’s insight reminds us that the path of love is a path of growth, teaching us strength, courage, and the art of living fully.
So today, reflect: Who strengthens you with their love? And to whom are you offering the courage of your own? In exploring both, you might just discover the transformative alchemy that lies at the heart of every human connection.
