“Don’t waste your time with explanations: people only hear what they want to hear.”
– Paulo Coelho
We’ve all been there—trying to explain ourselves, clarify our intentions, or justify our actions to someone who already made up their mind. It feels like shouting into the wind. No matter how thoughtful, heartfelt, or logical your explanation is, it bounces off closed ears. And in the process, it drains you.
So what gives? Why is it so hard for people to truly listen?
People Hear Through Their Filters
The truth is, most people don’t listen to understand—they listen to confirm what they already believe. Their mind is scanning for evidence that supports their narrative. Whether that narrative is about you, themselves, or the world, it’s already built. Your words either support it or get rejected.
We’re all walking around with filters—built from past experiences, emotional wounds, expectations, fears, and ego. These filters color the way we hear others. It’s not always conscious, but it’s very real. That’s why sometimes, even when you speak clearly and honestly, the other person might still twist your words or miss your meaning completely.
You Don’t Owe Everyone an Explanation
Here’s the liberating truth: you don’t have to explain yourself to everyone. Especially not to those who have no intention of understanding you.
Not every situation deserves your energy. Not every opinion deserves your defense. Trying to force someone to see your perspective when they’re not open to it is like pouring water into a closed jar—it’s going nowhere.
There’s a big difference between communicating with someone who’s open and curious, versus explaining yourself to someone who’s already judged you. One is a conversation. The other is a trap.
Speak Your Truth, But Don’t Chase Validation
Speak honestly. Communicate clearly. But let go of the need to be understood by everyone. Let go of the need to be liked by everyone. That’s not your job. Your job is to know your truth, stand in it, and live it with integrity.
The more at peace you are with yourself, the less you’ll feel the need to over-explain. Silence, at times, can be more powerful than paragraphs. Inner clarity doesn’t require outer validation.
Let Others Be Responsible for What They Hear
Once you speak your truth, your part is done. What others hear—or don’t hear—is on them. You are not responsible for their interpretation. You are not responsible for their reaction. That’s their journey.
When you understand this, your energy shifts. You stop wasting time defending yourself, and start spending more time being yourself.
Final Thought:
Not everyone is meant to understand you. And that’s okay. Those who are aligned with your frequency will hear you loud and clear—even in your silence.
TheSpiritualExplorer 