We all like to think of ourselves as kind, respectful, and open-minded people. But the truth is, even with the best intentions, we can say or do things that hurt others—often without even realizing it. That’s the nature of microaggressions: subtle, often unintentional comments or actions that carry harmful implications.
The hardest part? Sometimes, we’re the ones saying them.
What Are Microaggressions?
Microaggressions are the quiet, often unnoticed jabs that come disguised as compliments or questions:
- “You’re so articulate!” (as if it’s surprising)
- “Where are you really from?”
- “You don’t look gay.”
They’re not always said with bad intent—but impact matters more than intention. And when we’re the ones responsible, it’s not enough to be surprised or embarrassed. We have to do better.
Why Calling Yourself Out Matters
It’s easy to point the finger outward and critique other people’s behavior. But personal growth demands a mirror, not a magnifying glass. Accountability is a deeper form of kindness—it says, “I care enough about you and myself to change.”
Calling yourself out doesn’t make you a bad person—it makes you a brave and decent one. It’s not about shame, it’s about awareness and responsibility.
How to Catch Yourself in the Act
Here’s the truth: growth doesn’t happen in comfort. It happens in those awkward, stomach-twisting moments when you realize you said something wrong.
Here’s how to notice it:
- Did someone go quiet after you spoke?
- Did your “joke” rely on a stereotype?
- Are you brushing off criticism because it makes you uncomfortable?
When these red flags pop up, pause. Reflect. Don’t rush to justify—listen.
How to Move Forward
So you messed up. Now what?
- Apologize—genuinely. No “if you were offended” nonsense.
- Listen—even when it’s uncomfortable.
- Learn—read, ask questions, sit with your discomfort.
- Adjust—because knowing better means doing better.
Nobody gets it right all the time. But the people who keep trying are the ones who create real change.
The Bigger Picture
In a world that needs more compassion, one of the most powerful things you can do is check yourself—not just once, but constantly. Being a decent human being doesn’t mean being perfect. It means being aware, being open to change, and being kind enough to care about the impact of your actions.
The next time you catch yourself saying something questionable, don’t run from it. Lean into it. Grow from it. That’s the work. And that’s how we get better—together.
TheSpiritualExplorer 